i can't sleep. i can't focus. i can't think straight.
i don't know what's stressing me out. it's not the fact that i'm leaving tomorrow. it's not the fact that i'll be, figuratively, on my own. it's not the fact that i've never done this before. i don't know what to expect, but i do know that the unexpected is not what's keeping me from sleeping. i can't tell you what's keeping me up, because i can't tell myself. because i don't know.
i think it's the numbers. i think it's all stemming from those five minutes of pure worry. i think it's the fact that even though it'll all work itself out, i can't possibly imagine how right now. and that scares me.
but i know from my past, there's no need to worry or to be scared. He is in control. and what i can do, is leave it all up to Him. because when He is guiding me, i can work harder. i can learn faster. i can think clearer. i can make the right choices. i can do hard things. i can live on my own, without every being alone. i can do anything when i leave it up to Him. and that comforts me.
i can think straight. i can focus. i can sleep.