Friday, March 30, 2012


and so, just like that, i passed off the beast. does that mean i'll posting more regularly again? i sure hope so. i took on quite the load this semester and have learnt a lot about myself in the process. i swear i'm partially schizophrenic, or at least socially so. now that pretty much all of my friends are gone i don't go out very often. Kate and i have started having lunch again and i feel like life, in turn, has gained a more positive slope (not that i'm saying life is plots on a graph or anything...)—i have so much to say but i'm afraid my mind would stutter and i would just mess things up. i'm just glad i have great friends. i hangout with Nate and Cole almost every day as we slave over our cs projects. we call ourselves the 'brogrammers.' pretty neat, huh? my mission papers are in as of tuesday night! that's the most exciting thing you missed in my absence. a lot has happened, a lot has changed. i haven't had many opportunities for bursts of creativity. in fact, i feel like i'm at a three on a scale of creativity (out of ten) and i'm stuck there. i need to do something about that really soon or i'll be driven mad. maybe a good batch of movies will help with that. i just need friends to watch them with. that sounds stupid but it's true. the people i want to watch movies with are either gone or preoccupied all of the time. a foreign film would do wonders for me. i started hanging out with Sam, Zach's older sister (man i miss that guy. side note: i need to do something with zach's corner. i've been considering putting his letters over there for everyone to read, but i just haven't made up my mind yet. i'm silly in that way, i can't ever make up my mind on certain things. like naming variables in a fresh program... ugh.) and her roommate Jessi. they are wonderfully awesome people. i have a great time with them. i really have missed telling you guys about everything (all like five of you) i stumble across. i hope that i'll be able to get back to blogging more. i say hope because as the semester winds down to a close i very readily expect my life to become not my life and become some sort of routine trying to solidify my hard work over these past three months with outstanding test scores. this month has been hard for me—lots going on. but i really must say, there are some people in my life that i am particularly grateful for. there have been a few days that i really just wanted sleep through, and oddly enough, it was on those days that i would, with no prior expectation at all, happen to see them. and when i did i would feel awake—not the kind of awake that's the opposite of tired—but the kind of awake that makes you more aware of life and the things you care about. the kind of awake that makes you want to sing instead of speak or run instead of walk. now those people, those people i'd miss any amount of sleep for. it's time to un-pause and press play. it's time to be clay. all day.

Monday, March 26, 2012



you wanna know why i haven't blogged in for-freaking-ever?
this is why. feast your eyes upon the beast that is "lab6". 
a self-balancing, auto-rotating, adelson-velskii landis binary search tree.
or rather, the implementation of said AVL BST. 
you are looking at about one one-hundreth of the complete program.
i swear, when this is finished i will be such a happy man.

i picked the right major.

Sunday, March 25, 2012


one of my favorite memories as a kid was laying outside of my mom's bathroom door early in the morning listening to her blow-dry her hair. right now i'm sitting in my thinking chair listening to the bathroom fan imagining—the carpet is rough against my five year old cheek. a sliver of fluorescent light creeps out from under the door, the only light in the room. the sun hasn't come up yet. i'm curled up in one of my dad's t-shirts that goes past my knees; the one that has crossed golf clubs across the front. i can barely hear the constant and consistent whir of the fan as it ejects a hot stream of air. the noise is comforting. it consumes my conscious and makes me feel as if—someone turned off the fan. i've stopped imagining. i'm in my chair. it's late. the sun has gone down. i need my fan. someone, please anyone, turn on my fan.

Thursday, March 22, 2012


worth it.

Tuesday, March 20, 2012


i apologize for not being around.
i'm more busy than i've ever been before. ever.
but i just finished my papers and had to share.
in one week from today they will be completely submitted.
can i get woop woop?

Friday, March 16, 2012


this is a very short, very rough draft of a research paper that i'm starting on. we were asked to post our progress on our blogs to receive feedback. so if you are in my class, feel free to pass along some constructive criticism! if not—participate as well! or not. your choice.

Diesel And It’s Effects On The Environment And Our Health
Despite the fact that the majority of our products (and commercial/construction uses) are transported by vehicles powered by diesel, the short and long term adverse effects of its continued misuse far outweigh the benefits. Although new types of diesel have been implemented, it has been found that this diesel’s, as well as older diesel’s, exhaust contains carcinogens dangerous to our health. Certain occupations which are more readily exposed to diesel exhaust have shown a higher number of health related issues. A basic understanding of the types of diesel fuels, the malpractices of those who operate diesel powered machinery, and the ways we can positively alter those practices, will help make it clear that diesel is a fuel that should be more restricted.
Types of diesel fuel
Carcinogens and other particles found in diesel exhaust
Diesel exhaust contains millions of very fine particles which are toxic air contaminants. These toxic particles are known as diesel particulate matter. To analyze the contents found in the diesel exhaust, it is important to know how diesel engines operate. Diesel engines differ from gasoline engines in the fact that they don’t rely on a spark-ignition system. Diesel engines compress air which through the process heats it up, and then inject fuel into the compressed air. This is called a fuel-mixture. When there isn’t enough oxygen for the engine to burn, the unburnt fuel is ejected in a cloud of exhaust. In general, this unburnt fuel is referred to as black carbon.
Studies have shown that diesel particulate matter can be made up of a variety of different chemical components. Many of these chemical components are cancer causing agents, which are called carcinogens. The most common carcinogens found in diesel exhaust are arsenic (a lethal poison,) benzene (which is often found in coal tar and petroleum,) and formaldehyde (a preservative used on cadavers.) All of these carcinogens are floating inside of the dark cloud of exhaust spewed by diesel machinery. 
Effects on specific occupations

Malpractices of operators and their solutions
Old adage says that a diesel vehicle must be left running in order to keep the engine on. This is false and is actually a violation of the law in Chicago. When a vehicle is left running at a stand-still it is said that this vehicle is idling. A report from the Chicago Tribune targets this behavior and found that outside of baseball games where the charter busses were waiting to transport the teams, the level of diesel particulate matter was much greater than the surrounding air. The City of Chicago has implemented laws in order to discourage idling your vehicle. A fine of $250 is issued for idling. There are, however, exceptions to this rule which are: cars in traffic, and when the outside temperature is above 80 degrees Fahrenheit or below 32 degrees Fahrenheit. In the State of Oregon, another malpractice is being deterred.
When a diesel operator gives the engine too much fuel, not all of it can be burnt up quick enough resulting in a dark black cloud. This cloud can be conjured up on accident or by the intent of the driver. Clearly there is an issue when a driver is purposefully spewing carcinogens and black carbon into the air around us. Oregon State law states that if a cloud of smoke is visible for more than seven seconds then a fine is issued.

Saturday, March 10, 2012


adam preston ellis

he's so cool. i'm babysitting my siblings for the weekend while my parents are in the dominican republic. we watched movies and played ping pong and 'just danced'. the waffles were pretty good, too.

Sunday, March 4, 2012


tonight i had dinner with my extended family. i had such a great time with all of them. i really wish you could meet my family. in fact, if there were one thing that i want for you to have from me—it would be my love for my family. if you could just feel for one moment how i feel about them you would experience the greatest and most fulfilling love. my mom and dad are amazing; my brothers and sisters make my world; my aunts and uncles are my heroes; my cousins are the coolest; my grandparents will forever be my favorite people in the world; my family is my life. i feel that way about second cousins and great aunts and uncles, my grandparents' siblings and their parents. my favorite little moments in life have always been with my family. i wouldn't be the same without them—they have shaped me, my opinions, my outlook, my passions—and for that i am eternally grateful for them. my favorite thing in this world—and if i every say otherwise, i give you my permission to slap me senseless—is my family. there aren't too many things i am absolutely sure of in this world, but rest assured, of this i am sure: my family means everything to me. i can't wait to start one of my own. that will be my greatest success in life, my crowning achievement, my climax, my peak and my purpose—to have a family of my own that i get to share with the family that i already love. i am supremely thrilled that through the Atonement of our Savior we will be able to live with each other forever. nothing brings me greater joy or peace than knowing that one simple but infinitely important principle. if there is one thing that i want you to remember about me it is this: the family is the single greatest blessing we are given on this earth. i believe that and i hope that throughout my life others will recognize that. don't forget that.

before dinner, my cousin Addison and i went for a bike ride. check it out:

Friday, March 2, 2012


my bad!
i've been ├╝ber busy.
i'm listening to this right now.