prison:
here's the deal. i'm rooming with this kid who's called Zach Harris. seeing as i'll be spending a lot of time with him in the next few months, i'm going to give him a little place on my blog to speak his mind.
this week's topic: prison
Hello all!
This is Zachary Harris. Before i start, i'd just like to apoligize for not posting anything for the past few weeks, but seriously it's not like anyone reads these anyway. But if you do... that's pretty neat i guess. It's quite the story actually, my story goes hand in hand with this week's topic (what are the odds). Yes, i've been in prison for the past seven weeks. Don't judge me, i just had a little run in with our roommate Kevin Fonseca.
Kevin is a nice kid and all, but he's kinda a jerk! Seriously! I was just walking out to do some charity work NBD and apparently kevin is really against doing charity work because once he heard i was going to help the needy, he lost it! He took out a baseball bat and started beating me like a red headed step child!!! I didn't even know we had a baseball bat in the apartment! Anyway, so he was swinging away at my face with a louisville slugger when i decided to retaliate. I picked up a kitchen chair and swung at him with all of my might. I connected with his knee cap and he went down faster than the economy.
I felt super bad after i committed this act (because i'm a compassionate person), but by the time i had helped him up and nursed him to full health, the police had already arrived. The rest is history. Oh yeah but Kevin eventually died. so that's probably why i went to prison.
Prison is a scary place my friends. Lots of bad people, poor food, and no privacy when you're taking care of bathroom-related tasks. Word to the wise - don't do illegal things and you won't have to go to prison. Pretty simple
Until next week
You're Welcome
Zach
existence:
here's the deal. i'm rooming with this kid who's called Zach Harris. seeing as i'll be spending a lot of time with him in the next few months, i'm going to give him a little place on my blog to speak his mind.
this week's topic: existence
Existence, for this post i plan on taking a more philosophical approach seeing that i'm in college and everything, and saying i'm going to take a "philosophical approach" sounds pretty intelligent. So yeah what's up.
I'd like to expound on my profound knowledge of the purpose of Clay Ellis' existence.
When Clay was born in the humble city of Logan, Utah (one of the worst cities in the western hemisphere), his parents did not know what kind of person he would turn out to be. What would be the point of Clay's existence? What kind of person would he turn out to be? What kind of impact would he have on others?
These questions recapitulated over and over again in his parents mind as Clay grew into a young man. One day Clay read a quote that said, “Beware lest you lose the substance by grasping at the shadow.” ~Aesop (whatever that means, it’s pretty philosophical though) After pondering the deep meaning of this Aesop quote, he ran away from home to find the true meaning of his existence but He never really found it.
Zach’s Poem Corner
E - Earlobes
X - Xenogenetics
I - Indonesia
S - Super Man
T - Teletubbies TV show
E - Einstein Bagels
N - Noob
C - Charmander
E - Eldrick “Tiger” Woods
Existence
unemployment:
here's the deal. i'm rooming with this kid who's called Zach Harris. seeing as i'll be spending a lot of time with him in the next few months, i'm going to give him a little place on my blog to speak his mind.
this week's topic: unemployment
Yo this is him. Topic - unemployment
Hey i'm Zach, i'm currently unemployed. See ya next week.
Apparently that isn't good enough for tough guy Clay.
Unemployment, IT SUCKS, LIKE SO BAD OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG. Like if i could punch anything in the face, it'd totally be unemployment. YEAH.
Zach's story corner:
Once upon a time, in this place called Wyview, USA, there was this kid named Zach Harris. Although he was extremely talented and had muscles the size of the alpha male of an elite gorilla colony, he was sadly…… unemployed.
This was very depressing seeing that this young man had to pay for college. So every day when Zach came home and asked his roommates, "hey spare some change so i can have supper tonight?" They'd give him responses like, "Hey dumb guy, i know you have diabetes and you'd die without food, but i'm not gonna give you any money!" or "Hey i know i worked for apple and I have loads and loads, but i'm just going to buy nice clothes and spend all of my money on stupid music!!"
So Zach Harris watched his worthless roommates eat mounds of top ramen and cookies and cream chocolate milk as he sat and looked for a job. But his roommates will one day be mopping the top ramen off the ground of his luxurious office when he is the CEO of a fortune 500 company, and he won't even thank them. -----UNEMPLOYMENT-----
cave:
here's the deal. i'm rooming with this kid who's called Zach Harris. seeing as i'll be spending a lot of time with him in the next few months, i'm going to give him a little place on my blog to say whatever he wants. well, not whatever he wants, i'll give him a topic, and he'll speak his mind. i don't know how often this will be updated, so just plan on it being a weekly thing.
topic of the week: cave. (fyi, i'm going to be choosing the topic based on whatever this tells me. or is that just lame?)
Well, hey this is Zach Harris no big deal, except it's a huge deal. First of all, Clay acts like he's in charge, telling me how i will have "a little place" in his blog, but lets be real, I run this blog. The topic of this post is CAVE
____________________
ZACH'S POEM CORNER:
Haiku -
Clay is super dumb
This Haiku is about caves
Yeah, I am unreal
HAIKU ZACH- You betcha
C- Clay
A- Always
V- Vacates
E- Everyone
____________________
CAVE - (Noun; [keyv]) Definition:
The place where one would want to hide after spending one night rooming with the baffoon named Clay Ellis. For real dude.
Well this is my first post ever, there's a lot more where that came from. You're welcome.
Zach Harris
